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Monday, May 31st, 2004
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1:50 pm - SWRP - The Flaming ACOT
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| Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
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12:08 pm
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This is what I asked for. I wanted to dance on the moon, now I'm paying the bill.
current mood: tired
current music: Evanescence - My Tourniquet
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6:26 am
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Urgh... I can't sleep. Five and a half hours of tossing and turning hasn't gotten me anywhere, and Xander just entered his early morning PsychoKitty routine again. Faith is perched on the edge of the couch in the window, her tail hanging down.
Wrapping a curtain of the receeding winds around my body, I shiver and gasp from the currents of icy chill and sun-blasted heat that lash and caress my skin. I laugh with naked amusement at the powerlessness of dead things which, having not danced in the path of the whirlwind, and been consumed and swept away by it's irresitable freedom of music, will never be loose of their earthly shackles and silent miseries.
But I, I took the road - the whirlwind of life and passion - less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.
current mood: awake
current music: Evanescence - Wake Me Up Inside
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, March 22nd, 2004
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7:33 am - They are?? Damnit!
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| Thursday, March 18th, 2004
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2:16 am - work out
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ugh....... tired....
And I am soooo going to be tired tomorrow morning!!!! *cries*
But no, it's good for me. After months of watching my diet plans go to pot and my figure flab out - I have pudgy belly! - I started a new diet and exercise program over the last two weeks that thus far is working out rather well. I've switched from eating pizza and soda on every chance to eating salads and vegetables like corn and chickens once in a while. I could still probably cut back on how MUCH I eat, but my diet seems sound enough for me. I've been doing some sit ups and crunches and aerobic exercises, and tonight I did my first jog run. UGH. Bloody hell tired!! 70+ situps (no small feat considering my pudgy state!) and nearly 30 minutes of solid jogging cross country (including 4 goes at an incredibly STEEEP hill.) I'm kinda missing the toned, flat tummied, long slender body I had as mile running champion in Junior High and High School, and as young as I am, I'd like to get back to being fit and toned. It'll take longer, but now that it's warm outside, I really have no reason to put it of anymore... so here we are. :)
Mental note >> Next time, must bring hair tie.
Anywho, I've done my cool down walk, my stretching, and my second round of sit ups. I'm going to take my meds, flatten some posters, drink a sip of water, and get to bed. Must be up in 5 and a half hours.
Cheerio!....*dies, her body exhausted*
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 16th, 2004
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1:55 pm - You know
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1:44 pm - Interesting
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01. who are you, what's our relationship:
02. how and where did we meet:
03. what's my middle name:
04. how long have you known me:
05. tell me one good thing about myself:
06. when you first saw me what was your impression (or talked to me, either or):
07. my age:
08. birthday:
09. my favorite band at the moment:
10. color eyes:
11. do i have any siblings:
12. have you ever had a crush on me:
13. what's one of my favorite things to do:
14. do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you:
15. describe me in 3 words:
16. name 5 things i love:
17. do you think i'm good looking (assuming you've seen me):
18. how would you describe me to someone:
19. would you ever date me:
20. tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did:
21: what do you like most about me:
22: if we could spend a day together what would we do:
23: have we ever gotten in a fight:
24: do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years:
25. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
26. What do you think my weakness is?
27. Do you think I'll get married?
28. What makes me happy?
29. What makes me sad?
30. What reminds you of me?
31. If you could give me anything what would it be?
32. When's the last time talked to me?
33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
35. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?
36. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?
37. What song (if any) reminds you of me?
38. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
39. Would you make a move on me?
40. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day ?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, March 15th, 2004
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12:27 pm - Have you ever?
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"x" the things you've never done.
"_" the things you have.
i've *never*...
(_) been drunk
(x) smoked pot
(_) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(_) kissed a member of the same sex (MUCH PREFERRABLE!)
(x) crashed a friend's car
(x) been to japan
(_) ridden in a taxi
(x) had anal sex
(_) been in love
(_) had sex
(x) had sex in public
(_) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(x) cut
(_) been fired
(_) been in a fist fight
(x) had a threesome
(_) snuck out of my parent's house
(x) been tied up (sexually)
(x) been caught masturbating
(_) had sex with a member of the same sex
(x) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
(x) stole something from my job
(x) celebrated new years in time square
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(x) been to europe
(x) skipped school
(_) slept with a co-worker
(x) had sex at the office (their office)
(x) been married
(x) gotten divorced
(x) had children
(_) broken a bone
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, March 13th, 2004
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1:07 pm
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....okay, it's starting to unnerve me how often Lily shows up as most compatible with me.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, March 11th, 2004
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10:31 pm
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| Tuesday, March 9th, 2004
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4:32 pm
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I'm trying to beg off early. I don't wanna be here right now. I just wanna sleep for a million ages and dissapear.
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3:38 pm - I want to run away...
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I wanna stick my head in the sand and run away and hide and just forget. It hurts - it hurts...
This is quite possibly one of the longest days of my life.
Suck much. *kicks stuff*
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3:14 pm - Scared
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That she wont talk to me again,
That she wont wanna see me anymore,
That she wont trust me again,
That she doesn't understand, or care.
That she wont want to be my friend anymore.
I feel like a damn fool.
I did what I thought I had to - for me - just to say it, and be open and work it out.
I never wanted to hurt her.
I'm just terrified of losing her the best friend I've ever had.
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12:52 pm - I hate this...
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..How do you try to tell your best friend that she's hurting you without making her mad or hurting her... ? Especially when you don't WANT to hurt her or make her mad, just make her understand how YOU feel?
I don't know. I couldn't do it.
I feel like crying.
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| Sunday, March 7th, 2004
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5:18 pm - LOL! Go me
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smuggler_xxxxxxx_dodonna: I am trying to get to heaven here
ME: lol. Talking to the wrong girl.
ME: I'm a pagan Druidess who is in love with women.
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(comment on this)
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5:13 pm
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Your Energy is Purple. You are a visionary with
unmatched intuition and spiritual
consciousness. The mystical world and
unexplainable forces fascinate you. There
resides in you a true dignity and nobility, and
others see you as a worthy leader, and loyal
friend. You are often very mature, with a deep
understanding of human nature, and you will
instinctively encourage and guide others toward
their full potential.
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, March 5th, 2004
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12:21 pm - Updates and Things
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I need a computer.
Does anyone have an old POS?
I don't care what it looks like.
I'll take it.
I'll pay you as much as I can, up to 200-300 dollars. Can we break it up twice, maybe?
It only needs a Network (Ethernet) card and be able to run windows 98.
PLEASE?!?!?!
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, March 4th, 2004
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1:40 pm - lol. :) Yay me.
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The Window Shopper
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf)
Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.
You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.
Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a girl you you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.
Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic woman is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.
Your exact opposite:
The Stiletto
BEWARE: Genghis Khunt
CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, The Peach
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGLD&g=2&o=2&h=177
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, February 28th, 2004
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11:21 am - GOD DAMNIT!
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I have had enough! *is half crying half pissed off*
I am ABOUT TO LOSE MY FUCKING JOB.
Why? Because NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY TO FIND A RELIABLE, CONTINUAL MODE OF TRANSPORTATION, it NEVER FRICKING WORKS. I get phone calls 1 hour or a half hour before I have to be at work "Hi, Becca? I can't come get you today..." or worse they just don't SHOW UP. "Oh... yah... I should have called... sorry I wasn't home to answer your call, I had to go into work early." Or I never hear from them again! We run into each other at work one day "Hey, what happenned to you that day?!" ... FUCK!
On Tuesday, my new boss pulls me aside and gives me a 'verbal warning' for being Late to work a total of 5 incidents since New Year's. All of which I can explain to him as being the result of rides being late, rides falling through, having to find a ride at the last minute, having to take the 3 hour now bus trip... but there it is. 5 incidents = verbal warning. I know he's missed two more incidents, because on both Monday and Tuesday, I was late because my ride overslept. I can't HELP IT! At the last minute when I get a phone call 30 minutes before I have to be in the car from my ride saying she'll be 45 minutes instead of 30, I can't SUMMON UP MY MAGIC CARPET and zip to work. I DO NOT HAVE ONE. It takes 3 hours to get to work on foot/bus. I don't have 25 dollars to spend on Taxis all the time - I do it as often as I can!! I do not have, cannot buy a car! I don't have more than 200 dollars to my name at any ONE time except on PAYDAY.
I have SPENT NIGHTS at the office. I have Gotten up at 4am in the morning to get to work on time. I have stayed up all night to be at work on time. I have sacrificed EVERY SINGLE OTHER thing in my life to be at work on time whenever I possibly can. I been missed by bus drivers. I have been forgotten by rides. I have had 40 minute LATE bus drivers.
I have SLEPT IN A TOTAL of 2 times in the last 5 months. And once, I still made it to work on time!! (no makeup, but on time)
I know it's still my responsibility to show up for work on time. I know it's not my job's responsibility to be Understanding, but I have to vent today, because here I am again, late. I'm in tears. I feel like shit. I feel hopeless and completely without support. My fucking job is the only thing I have that guarantees that my life as it is or in any semblence there of will go on. No matter how much I fucking HATE my job, I have slaved, sacrificed, and given up the vast majority of my life to KEEP it. My roommate thinks I walk on water for all I do to get to this job on time every day despite what comes my way. EIGHT carpools have fallen through on me, 4 in the last two months. Yesterday my ride called and said "look, I'm sorry, but I have a migrane." I was 2 hours late.
Today, she didn't even call, and she wont answer her phone.
I have spent hundreds of dollars on Taxis.
I have spent hundreds of hours on buses.
I have spent dozens of hours arranging and rearranging rides.
WHY CAN'T I GET ONE SINGLE FUCKING BREAK??? ~ONE~ PERSON, ~ONE~ RIDE I CAN DEPEND ON???
I now have 7 incidents.
A written warning.
If I am late two more times, I'm gone.
I predict that I will last until the end of next week.
Fuck Off.
current mood: depressed
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(10 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, February 27th, 2004
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11:40 pm - OH MY GOD!
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